We got almost a foot of snow in the last day, and I was out shoveling around midnight last night and then again this afternoon after it had stopped. I had a friend tell me there was no way I could convince him that there was a benefit to shoveling snow while it was still snowing. To that I say, it's much easier to shovel a couple hundred square feet of six inch snow on two occasions than to try and do the same thing with 12+ inches of snow. Southerners---they'll never understand.
Anyways, that was a lot of snow and I'm not ashamed to admit that one, I still enjoy shoveling snow and I had a good time doing it, and two, I am completely exhausted. Unfortunately this snow was wet and heavy and my back and arms are sore. But there's something about looking at the driveway and sidewalks and knowing that I cleaned them completely of the snow and ice. Yeah, I guess I am sick huh? The only thing I wsh was different was that I didn't have a gravel driveway. Shoveling show that's laying on a bunch of rocks is a big pain. If I had a blacktop or concrete drive then I could easily shovel it in less than half the time it takes with those rocks. My shovel is one of those "snow movers" that you can get behind and just push tons of snow all over with it. The part of my driveway by the garage is asphalt and it takes me no time at all to get it cleared. Ah well, maybe one day.
Not too much going on otherwise. It's been a hectic week for me just trying to keep up with the kids. It seems like they are getting more and more rambunctious as the days go by. I am constantly stopping them from taking things they shouldn't have, going where they shouldn't go, and doing things they shouldn't do. I long for the days of the triple 2am feedings sometimes. The worst part is that I'm still 5 months away from the terrible twos. I don't expect to make it through the summer!
Friday, February 01, 2008
Saturday, January 26, 2008
I love the smell of Mud in my Campaign
I spent the day recovering from my attack on insomnia. After too many days with poor sleep, I turned to science and medicine to get a good nights sleep and I took 1 Rozeem tablet. It's the pill with the commercials with Abe Lincoln, a talking beaver, and a deep sea diver. Well, this shit is the Devil's medicine! That one little pill knocked me out for almost 11 hours and even after I was up it took almost two hours for me to feel normal again. Pretty powerful stuff. I slept hard, reportedly smacked my wife in the face a few times, and had a long series of vivid dreams that shouldn't have been connected, but some how were. I think I'll be saving those pills for emergencies and times when I can sleep in a bit.
I commented previously about the dander rising in the Democratic debates between Clinton and Obama. They were both throwing barbs back and forth, essentially attacking each other's integrity. Unfortunately for Hillary, she made a comment about Obama being connected to a "slumlord" in Chicago named Tony Rezko. She of course defended her actions as a "counter attack" but as so often has happened when a Federal politician named Clinton gets in the news, the past has a way of coming up and casting dispersions upon their morals and integrity. Hilary was on the morning network news programs talking about the campaign and Matt Lauer asked her about the photo, to which she gave a great answer that I believe is probably the truth, but it's vague and predictable enough to cause the common voter to pause. The picture itself looks like it was taken during Bill's presidency and is probably just a photo from a fundraiser or visit that the Clintons made. She says she doesn't remember taking the picture or evening knowing him.
Her and Bill probably had their photos taken with thousands of people since entering the national scene at different democratic events with tons of people they didn't really know. But for her to question Obama's integrity by mentioning him connection to this guy by name, and then saying she doesn't even know what he looks like is a bit of a stretch. If she knew enough to mudsling with his name, then she knows what he looks like. Come on. And if she's full of shit about that, it makes you wonder what she really knows and whether her or her husband took any money from him, whether directly or indirectly.
Yeah, the mud smells sweet when you can just sit back and watch it fly.
I commented previously about the dander rising in the Democratic debates between Clinton and Obama. They were both throwing barbs back and forth, essentially attacking each other's integrity. Unfortunately for Hillary, she made a comment about Obama being connected to a "slumlord" in Chicago named Tony Rezko. She of course defended her actions as a "counter attack" but as so often has happened when a Federal politician named Clinton gets in the news, the past has a way of coming up and casting dispersions upon their morals and integrity. Hilary was on the morning network news programs talking about the campaign and Matt Lauer asked her about the photo, to which she gave a great answer that I believe is probably the truth, but it's vague and predictable enough to cause the common voter to pause. The picture itself looks like it was taken during Bill's presidency and is probably just a photo from a fundraiser or visit that the Clintons made. She says she doesn't remember taking the picture or evening knowing him.Her and Bill probably had their photos taken with thousands of people since entering the national scene at different democratic events with tons of people they didn't really know. But for her to question Obama's integrity by mentioning him connection to this guy by name, and then saying she doesn't even know what he looks like is a bit of a stretch. If she knew enough to mudsling with his name, then she knows what he looks like. Come on. And if she's full of shit about that, it makes you wonder what she really knows and whether her or her husband took any money from him, whether directly or indirectly.
Yeah, the mud smells sweet when you can just sit back and watch it fly.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Annoying
Being a stay at home father has been a real paradigm shift for me in terms of how skewed our society is towards men as parents. If the stereotype of a father is not viewed as absent or negligent, then the best we can hope for is to be labeled as lazy, uncaring, or incompetent. Many times it is all of them combined together. This doesn't even include the fact that stories, advice, or services for the "stay-at-home" parent are almost always geared towards women. As I've said before here on this blog, I am one of the smallest minorities in this country as a result of this.
For most of my life I didn't care what the rest of the world thought, but as I increasingly ran into people who became upset, offended, angry, enraged, or hurt by comments and assumptions I made whether in jest or ignorance, I began to change my actions and comments to suit our increasingly thin-skinned society. It has gotten to a point that no matter what your intentions may have been, you are always wrong if you don't ignore all stereotypes and immediately embrace the highest pinnacle of qualities a person possesses (or potentially possesses) regardless of race, gender, age, or any other factor you want to use.
But in all this Rah!, Rah! politically correct age of bullshit enlightenment one group has been allowed to be maligned, smeared, and ridiculed as frequently as anyone else desired. This group I am talking about is men, most often white men, but generally it's OK to attack, insult, or belittle us.
Are you gay? Well, we won't stand for anyone making fun of you for that? Are you black? Then we will not tolerate any assaults against you in any form!! Are you Jewish? A senior citizen? Maybe even a friend of Bill W? Then we will protect you--- as long as you're not a man!! Then it's OK to say things about you that we would otherwise balk at if that came anywhere near us. And if you happen to be a father, then we'll double our efforts and use the broadest strokes of our brushes to besmirch you and your character. But be warned, if you do it to women or mothers, even in defense, then you're just an asshole.
So, this annoys me!
On Tuesday, some "broad" in the multiple parents group Meva and I belong to passed along a joke that was very long winded and meant to be funny about how men are thoughtless, lazy, stupid, sex maniacs. It was meant as a joke, but it just pissed me off to know end. So much so that I replied to this entire group, which consists almost entirely of women, that I found the email offensive.
I'm sharing this because in my little rant, I came up with a twist and turn on the stereotype for women that I am rather proud of because like most stereotypes, you can find support for it if you look hard enough, but it's mostly ridiculous and I aimed it at this group of women, who for the most part use the multiple parenting group as a mothers social network (and there's nothing wrong with that). So to this group I referred to women as:
"nothing but self indulgent, image obsessed martyr bags of hormones and gossip!"
Meva and I laughed at that until it hurt. I say that because if we laugh too much right now our chest colds act up and we start coughing like crazy.
But anyways, all of the above annoyed me and I felt much better (and tremendously pleased at my attempt at being witty) after having said that.
Anyways, that's something for everyone to think about and laugh at. And if you still aren't laughing, just laugh at me, I'm an easy target. I am a white male parent after all!!
For most of my life I didn't care what the rest of the world thought, but as I increasingly ran into people who became upset, offended, angry, enraged, or hurt by comments and assumptions I made whether in jest or ignorance, I began to change my actions and comments to suit our increasingly thin-skinned society. It has gotten to a point that no matter what your intentions may have been, you are always wrong if you don't ignore all stereotypes and immediately embrace the highest pinnacle of qualities a person possesses (or potentially possesses) regardless of race, gender, age, or any other factor you want to use.
But in all this Rah!, Rah! politically correct age of bullshit enlightenment one group has been allowed to be maligned, smeared, and ridiculed as frequently as anyone else desired. This group I am talking about is men, most often white men, but generally it's OK to attack, insult, or belittle us.
Are you gay? Well, we won't stand for anyone making fun of you for that? Are you black? Then we will not tolerate any assaults against you in any form!! Are you Jewish? A senior citizen? Maybe even a friend of Bill W? Then we will protect you--- as long as you're not a man!! Then it's OK to say things about you that we would otherwise balk at if that came anywhere near us. And if you happen to be a father, then we'll double our efforts and use the broadest strokes of our brushes to besmirch you and your character. But be warned, if you do it to women or mothers, even in defense, then you're just an asshole.
So, this annoys me!
On Tuesday, some "broad" in the multiple parents group Meva and I belong to passed along a joke that was very long winded and meant to be funny about how men are thoughtless, lazy, stupid, sex maniacs. It was meant as a joke, but it just pissed me off to know end. So much so that I replied to this entire group, which consists almost entirely of women, that I found the email offensive.
I'm sharing this because in my little rant, I came up with a twist and turn on the stereotype for women that I am rather proud of because like most stereotypes, you can find support for it if you look hard enough, but it's mostly ridiculous and I aimed it at this group of women, who for the most part use the multiple parenting group as a mothers social network (and there's nothing wrong with that). So to this group I referred to women as:
"nothing but self indulgent, image obsessed martyr bags of hormones and gossip!"
Meva and I laughed at that until it hurt. I say that because if we laugh too much right now our chest colds act up and we start coughing like crazy.
But anyways, all of the above annoyed me and I felt much better (and tremendously pleased at my attempt at being witty) after having said that.
Anyways, that's something for everyone to think about and laugh at. And if you still aren't laughing, just laugh at me, I'm an easy target. I am a white male parent after all!!
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Danger! Danger! Danger!
I've been doing some thinking the last few days, which is always something my wife says should cause everyone around me to be concerned. As it is past 4 am while I write this, I am prepared to admit I am suffering from some serious insomnia. Just like I said in my last post, I'm getting little sleep, I'm up all hours, and I find myself growing more and more restless and listless at the same time. As I've tried to find a cause for this new behavior and a way to combat it, I think that I may have finally come up with an answer tonight while writing on my other blog.
Basically I think my problem stems from an inability to write. If you don't write, then that will sound silly, but if you're someone like myself who feels compelled to write everyday, then you'll understand how damaging it can be to feel as though you're being held back from creating. The current set-up here at home no longer is working for me, with my desk right in the middle of triplet central and between the TV and my wife's computer.
Meva and I talked about this before and I've been saving up trying to get a used laptop so that I can go into another room for some piece and quiet and pound away at the keys. One of my ways to raise the money for this is to start consolidating my collections of books and other items I know longer use and put that money towards my laptop. I've left that as a lower priority, but I think I need to raise that up and focus a bit more on this so I can make my laptop a reality, so eBay here I come!!
In the real world the Presidential race is starting to narrow down, which always causes the remaining candidates to try and make themselves stand out and inevitably the mud starts getting slung all over. We're entering put and shut up time and they no longer have the luxury of talking out of both sides of their mouth on every issue and they're going to be forced to let some of their real intentions and plans out for the public to judge. This is where it all gets exciting and I think I'm going to very much enjoy this race.
Time for some Zzzzz's.
Basically I think my problem stems from an inability to write. If you don't write, then that will sound silly, but if you're someone like myself who feels compelled to write everyday, then you'll understand how damaging it can be to feel as though you're being held back from creating. The current set-up here at home no longer is working for me, with my desk right in the middle of triplet central and between the TV and my wife's computer.
Meva and I talked about this before and I've been saving up trying to get a used laptop so that I can go into another room for some piece and quiet and pound away at the keys. One of my ways to raise the money for this is to start consolidating my collections of books and other items I know longer use and put that money towards my laptop. I've left that as a lower priority, but I think I need to raise that up and focus a bit more on this so I can make my laptop a reality, so eBay here I come!!
In the real world the Presidential race is starting to narrow down, which always causes the remaining candidates to try and make themselves stand out and inevitably the mud starts getting slung all over. We're entering put and shut up time and they no longer have the luxury of talking out of both sides of their mouth on every issue and they're going to be forced to let some of their real intentions and plans out for the public to judge. This is where it all gets exciting and I think I'm going to very much enjoy this race.
Time for some Zzzzz's.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Messes
That little ball of fun to the left has become the newest member of my rogues gallery. That is an enhanced image of the rhinovirus and I've been battling it for what seems like weeks. Basically it's the virus that is responsible for the common cold, or something like 90% of all colds. At this point I'm pretty much past the fevers, chills, and sinus issues, all I have left at the ridiculous congestion and coughing symptoms. I say that because of the severity and unusual pattern that they follow for me. I'm usually fine when I wake up and don't have any coughing whatsoever, but then a few hours later it hits me like a train out of no where. I can be busting my hump around the house or with the kids or just taking it easy and reading or watching TV. When this happens the coughing is just nasty and painful. Everything starts breaking up in my chest and it feels like I'm trying to exhale small shards of glass It can last 10 minutes up to a few hours. The only thing that helps me is taking hydrocodeine for a cough suppressant, which is basically vicodine. I end up taking these pills 2-3 times a day and right before bed because I've been waking up in the middle of the night in one of these coughing fits. Well, the damn thing is getting weaker and weaker, so hopefully it's on the way out.
Other than dealing with the plumbing issues in the laundry room, I haven't been able to do much around the house or even write as I rest and try and get through this. It's a shame I don't have a TEMPORARY extra Meva or two for around the house. She herself has been fighting it off and working real hard around the house and at work. Between the two of us the house is a mess and in a state of disrepair. About the only thing we've accomplished is watching some DVD's and the NFL Playoffs. I've also rekindled my love affair with the Dick Van Dyke show. There's something about the simple, yet likable characters and stories that I love and appreciate. And you can't help but enjoy the talented cast and writing that I truly think was ahead of its generation. One of the local non-network stations airs it twice a night, so I'm enjoying it while it lasts. I would have to say that it really is one of my favorite TV shows, right up there with Frasier, WKRP, and The Office.The last mess I've got is a bit of a doozy. I wouldn't call it insomnia, but I am having some difficulty sleeping. I find I either can't get to bed until it's almost morning (or actually morning) or I wake up in the middle of the night and can't get back to sleep for several hours. It's definitely not something that 19 month old triplets are very sympathetic to the next morning. Meva and I aren't sure if it's something I'm doing (like too much caffeine late at night), a side effect of my depression medication, my depression in general, or if its not a warning sign that I might be bi-polar. My therapist seems to think there is some merit there also and wants me to look into that also. I can tell you despite the early tests I've done for this, I am probably going to be a very difficult and bad patient when it comes to treatment . I'll expound on that more as I know more.
Lastly, all of this has really begun to hamper my ability and even desire to write, even here on the blog. I instead find myself distracted by facebook or countless mindless games. I really need to get back into my projects like Toy Chest and finishing up the Veil. That project is almost bursting to come out at times, yet I'm having a hell of a time finding that groove. I really wish I had a laptop so that I could go into a nice quiet place and start banging out pages. I don't need anything fancy, just something with microsoft office and the ability to connect to the web for images and research. Looks like it's time to hit the old eBay store and start cleaning out some closets and putting things up for auction.
Well, it's much too late for me, as usual, so I'm going to try and get a few Zzzz's in before the triplet monster rears its ugly head!
Saturday, January 12, 2008
The Root Of My Problems
Well, we had the plumber come out and attack my problem with the laundry room drain pipe problem. As I suspected, that drain was blocked. What was surprising is that the blockage was a network of roots that had trapped years of lint. I say it's surprising because there isn't a tree or bush anywhere near this area that the drain pipe is in. That means the roots are from an old tree that was removed before we bought the house or they are from a huge oak tree over 100 feet away. In the end, we paid about $500 for them to do this and replace some pipes and give us no guarantee that the problem is solved. The washer is working, so for now we're happy. Once I get back to working full time, we might go for a more drastic solution to this. Saturday morning begins the tearing of the drywall and the bleach moping of the entire laundry room!! Yeah!
I think I've entered another one of my manic episodes because I find myself wired and sleeping aids to be of no help. While I would like to sleep, my mind is just racing around and unable to settle for me to relax and sleep.
For no real reason, the last few nights that I have slept, I've had a recurring dream that Meva and I are in a plane crash in the Canadian Wilderness in a small plane. We are the only survivors and Meva has a broken leg. The rescue attempts have been called off because of a developing storm that is starting out as ice rain and turning into a snowy blizzard that will soon start bearing down on us. I then spend the next several hours in survival mode trying to make sure Meva is comfortable and building a shelter to protect us from the elements. I always wake before I finish and as of yet we've never been rescued, although one dream featured me getting help from hundreds of badgers who had dubbed me their god.
I made it through the week with sick triplets and Meva and I under the weather. It was rough and I really feel like I need a vacation. In all honesty, it may have been one of the more challenging weeks with the kids I've ever had. As big as I am, even I have trouble hugging and soothing three babies on two shoulders!
The political race is starting to heat up seriously and due to the precarious nature and importance of this race, I want to be more informed than I have ever been before. That means I'll probably start spouting my radical views here from time to time, but it's important for all of us to do the right thing and stay informed as to what is going on.
Hopefully I can get my laundry room set in time to get to my brother's house for the football games. I plan on being there for both the Seahawks vs Packers and the Jaguars vs. Patriots game in the early evening. Those should be some good games.
One thing I had the misfortune of suffering through this week was watching daytime network and local TV because I spent much of my time holding babies. There are far too many court TV shows on! I hate them all, and the people who appear on those shows ever more. I'm beginning to wonder if these people don't just immediately leave the stages of Jerry Springer and Maury and then appear in front of short tempered judges for additional legal humiliation. I'm almost tempted to watch soap operas, but I will gladly watch Bob the Builder in their place!
Stay-at-home dad of triplets, I am the last true minority in this country!!
I think I've entered another one of my manic episodes because I find myself wired and sleeping aids to be of no help. While I would like to sleep, my mind is just racing around and unable to settle for me to relax and sleep.
For no real reason, the last few nights that I have slept, I've had a recurring dream that Meva and I are in a plane crash in the Canadian Wilderness in a small plane. We are the only survivors and Meva has a broken leg. The rescue attempts have been called off because of a developing storm that is starting out as ice rain and turning into a snowy blizzard that will soon start bearing down on us. I then spend the next several hours in survival mode trying to make sure Meva is comfortable and building a shelter to protect us from the elements. I always wake before I finish and as of yet we've never been rescued, although one dream featured me getting help from hundreds of badgers who had dubbed me their god.
I made it through the week with sick triplets and Meva and I under the weather. It was rough and I really feel like I need a vacation. In all honesty, it may have been one of the more challenging weeks with the kids I've ever had. As big as I am, even I have trouble hugging and soothing three babies on two shoulders!
The political race is starting to heat up seriously and due to the precarious nature and importance of this race, I want to be more informed than I have ever been before. That means I'll probably start spouting my radical views here from time to time, but it's important for all of us to do the right thing and stay informed as to what is going on.
Hopefully I can get my laundry room set in time to get to my brother's house for the football games. I plan on being there for both the Seahawks vs Packers and the Jaguars vs. Patriots game in the early evening. Those should be some good games.
One thing I had the misfortune of suffering through this week was watching daytime network and local TV because I spent much of my time holding babies. There are far too many court TV shows on! I hate them all, and the people who appear on those shows ever more. I'm beginning to wonder if these people don't just immediately leave the stages of Jerry Springer and Maury and then appear in front of short tempered judges for additional legal humiliation. I'm almost tempted to watch soap operas, but I will gladly watch Bob the Builder in their place!
Stay-at-home dad of triplets, I am the last true minority in this country!!
Thursday, January 10, 2008
I Hate My House
Anyone who loves pain and has been a frequent visitor to this blog knows all the headaches my wife and I have gone through and overcome in regards to our house. You can see were this is going right? More problems!! This time it involves, flooding, mold, and a clogged drain.
The drain pipe in our laundry room has clogged so that every time we run the washing machine it backs up onto the floor. We discovered this from the overwhelming smell of the mold that has built up along the drywall on the floor. So tomorrow I'll be having a plumber coming out to fish through the clog so that the washer works again. Afterwards it will be the fun hobby of ripping out the drywall and drying everything out, and then scrubbing it all down with bleach before we redo the drywall and repaint.
I wish we weren't broke as hell so I could just hire a contractor and have them do all this work. It's not that it's all that difficult, but time is the more precious commodity and I'd just as soon see someone else take care of it while I did other things that are pressing as well.
You know it's been a wild month when a bunch of tornadoes come rolling through the region in January. I feel for all those people who got smacked with this due to the uncommon weather, but I don't want to hear people telling me it's all due to global warming. It happened in 1950, and probably happened hundreds of times prior to the keeping of weather records. Don't get me wrong, I believe that we have some serious greenhouse gas issues, but it's not to blame for everything.
All three of the kids are sick too. The boys are the worst off and they are very clingy. This is one of the most stressful times for being the parent of triplets. These poor little guys are so sick, and feverish, and just all over miserable that most of the time they just want to be held. The house has pretty much become a disaster area as I give them the love and attention they need and try to hold my sanity together. It's not always easy, but so far I've gotten through it.
Not too much in the way of good news to report, although things really are good for us overall. I have great kids, a wonderful wife (although she is lacking in football enthusiasm). You basically count your blessings and focus on what you have.
The drain pipe in our laundry room has clogged so that every time we run the washing machine it backs up onto the floor. We discovered this from the overwhelming smell of the mold that has built up along the drywall on the floor. So tomorrow I'll be having a plumber coming out to fish through the clog so that the washer works again. Afterwards it will be the fun hobby of ripping out the drywall and drying everything out, and then scrubbing it all down with bleach before we redo the drywall and repaint.
I wish we weren't broke as hell so I could just hire a contractor and have them do all this work. It's not that it's all that difficult, but time is the more precious commodity and I'd just as soon see someone else take care of it while I did other things that are pressing as well.
You know it's been a wild month when a bunch of tornadoes come rolling through the region in January. I feel for all those people who got smacked with this due to the uncommon weather, but I don't want to hear people telling me it's all due to global warming. It happened in 1950, and probably happened hundreds of times prior to the keeping of weather records. Don't get me wrong, I believe that we have some serious greenhouse gas issues, but it's not to blame for everything.
All three of the kids are sick too. The boys are the worst off and they are very clingy. This is one of the most stressful times for being the parent of triplets. These poor little guys are so sick, and feverish, and just all over miserable that most of the time they just want to be held. The house has pretty much become a disaster area as I give them the love and attention they need and try to hold my sanity together. It's not always easy, but so far I've gotten through it.
Not too much in the way of good news to report, although things really are good for us overall. I have great kids, a wonderful wife (although she is lacking in football enthusiasm). You basically count your blessings and focus on what you have.
Sunday, January 06, 2008
Getting Back On The Saddle
The Holidays, as much as I love them, sure do seem to sap much of my energy from me. It didn't help having that friendly little cold over New Year's either, but it beats getting poked in the eye with a stick.
The weekend has been very relaxing and slow. Of note my wife and I watch The Bourne Ultimatum and Vacancy. I loved Bourne in the theaters, and I was really surprised with Vacancy. I don't usually go for movies of that type, but it was suspenseful and it never got too terribly out of hand or control. It's biggest asset is that it's a story that could conceivable happen (although probably not at intricate or complex) and it's that knowledge that sits at the back of your head as you watch it. Anyone who has ever traveled along out of the way places and stayed at lonely generic motels will instantly be able to relate to the setup of that movie. Again, nothing fancy, but it was definitely a good movie.
With the NFL playoffs here that means a few things. First is that my beloved Bears have the same seat to the games as I do, and second that the fantasy football season is over. In total, I was in 6 leagues this year and I won two, came in second in two more, and the other two I just tanked. At least one of the leagues I won has some money as a prize, so I'll be getting a nice donation to my laptop fund here real soon!
My hand is really starting to feel good here and once my wife and I get the house back in shape I'm going to be going full steam ahead on the writing. I've already started going over The Veil and plotting out how I want that to go. Since I've been on this hiatus, I'm going to to a recap and put some special links on the side to make it easy from anyone interested in starting over, to do so.
Well, it's now so late that it's early and I should have been in bed hours ago. Be safe everyone.
The weekend has been very relaxing and slow. Of note my wife and I watch The Bourne Ultimatum and Vacancy. I loved Bourne in the theaters, and I was really surprised with Vacancy. I don't usually go for movies of that type, but it was suspenseful and it never got too terribly out of hand or control. It's biggest asset is that it's a story that could conceivable happen (although probably not at intricate or complex) and it's that knowledge that sits at the back of your head as you watch it. Anyone who has ever traveled along out of the way places and stayed at lonely generic motels will instantly be able to relate to the setup of that movie. Again, nothing fancy, but it was definitely a good movie.
With the NFL playoffs here that means a few things. First is that my beloved Bears have the same seat to the games as I do, and second that the fantasy football season is over. In total, I was in 6 leagues this year and I won two, came in second in two more, and the other two I just tanked. At least one of the leagues I won has some money as a prize, so I'll be getting a nice donation to my laptop fund here real soon!
My hand is really starting to feel good here and once my wife and I get the house back in shape I'm going to be going full steam ahead on the writing. I've already started going over The Veil and plotting out how I want that to go. Since I've been on this hiatus, I'm going to to a recap and put some special links on the side to make it easy from anyone interested in starting over, to do so.
Well, it's now so late that it's early and I should have been in bed hours ago. Be safe everyone.
Friday, January 04, 2008
Welcoming The New Year
My buddy Cary marked the New Year that he still had his fingers and toes. For that matter alone, I am glad to see 2007 behind me. I spent the latter part of the year in pain and in a cast due to my arthritis in my left hand. 2008 has rung in with my hand out of a cast and in a splint!! That's just awesome.
We had a great New Years celebration, despite a nasty cold taking root in me, at my brother's house. I of course didn't drink, but I didn't get home until 4:30am. I was beat, but I had a fantastic time talking with my friends and family without any worry of getting home and checking on the triplets. I have to give a big thank you to my mother and father in-law for allowing us to have a very rare treat that night.
There's not a whole lot going on lately. As the year gets in gear I'm preparing to finish my last assignment for my Master's Degree and looking to get back into teaching again after this school year. That's important because it will take away some of my time for writing as I prepare resumes and applications. It sucks, but it's a necessary evil for my family.
That's about it for now folks.
We had a great New Years celebration, despite a nasty cold taking root in me, at my brother's house. I of course didn't drink, but I didn't get home until 4:30am. I was beat, but I had a fantastic time talking with my friends and family without any worry of getting home and checking on the triplets. I have to give a big thank you to my mother and father in-law for allowing us to have a very rare treat that night.
There's not a whole lot going on lately. As the year gets in gear I'm preparing to finish my last assignment for my Master's Degree and looking to get back into teaching again after this school year. That's important because it will take away some of my time for writing as I prepare resumes and applications. It sucks, but it's a necessary evil for my family.
That's about it for now folks.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
A Moment To Breath
Christmas was great! We continued our tradition of reading T'was the Night Before Christmas with the triplets. This year we gave them hot chocolate in their bottles and I read the the story while they drank and tried to take the book from me. It was cute and probably my favorite highlight of the holiday.
All in all it was a very nice and low key event. My brother Cecil and his wife Sarah came, along with his mother Vera, who I consider to be a second mother to me. Everyone was extremely generous with their gifts to the kids, as they always are. We're very blessed in that regard and I would trade them for anything, I'm just proud and happy they are a part of my life.
Unfortunately there were two blips on the day that made it rough. I forgot to take my ulcer meds for three straight days and as a result the wonderfully tasting pot roast my wife made gave me no end of problems and I had to cut my eating short and let things resettle for a few hours. Then for the third year in a row my youngest sister brought her chaos into my life by calling (actually it was her husband) to ask us for gas money to get home. From my aunt's house. Meva and I toyed with the idea of not even exchanging presents this year because money is so tight, so she was barking up the wrong tree.
Last year this sister almost spent Christmas in jail and Meva and I bought and (for the most part cooked) a complete Christmas dinner for them (I think it was meant to feed about 12-14 people) by buying the turkey, a ham (I think), a bunch of sides, pies and cakes, and a bunch of cookies and fudge. If I'm not mistaken the year before that she didn't have money for Christmas gifts for her kids and was scrambling a few days before Christmas trying to borrow money to get presents.
Even though I know this will be read to my mother (which is fine), I don't think my family realizes how much this type of behavior effects me and gets me down. I love my sister and her kids, but she point blank doesn't live her life respectfully or responsibly and it makes me crazy, angry, and lugubrious. And that is only intensified when I think about her kids. In the end it causes me to be so depressed that I actually physically ache. Unless you suffer from depression, you can't understand exactly how this happens. It of course carried over into today, and if it weren't for my wonderful babies, I would have slept the entire day away.
Not too much else going on that I have much to say about. The always frustratingly fun Best/Worst of lists or the year are all over the place now. Overall I guess I like them, but sometimes it's kind of sad to see just what exactly we've let become important to us.
Again, TV sucks, especially daytime. Without cable, I am stuck with the basic local channels, so all I get are judge shows (they all suck and are redundant) and talk shows. Most of them are also filled with the dregs of humanity, so even the guests aren't interesting. I will share the sad state of my TV affairs to you all so that you can laugh with me (or at me) when I admit that watching Martha Stewart or Rachel Ray are the only shows I watch during the day--- that or the PBS kids shows!! (That Wendy on Bob the Builder is a babe in disguise!).
TV at this time of night (2amish) is equally as bad. Infomercials and Poker After Dark are what you get. I think I'd rather listen to Top 40 radio or Rosie O'Donnell. If it didn't make me so agitated I would just drop to the floor, instantly asleep.
Tomorrow I visit my bone specialist and hopefully I'll be coming home without a cast, but with a splint. Just being able to take it off to bath or let my hand and wrist breath would be wonderful and hopefully I can get back to work.
All in all it was a very nice and low key event. My brother Cecil and his wife Sarah came, along with his mother Vera, who I consider to be a second mother to me. Everyone was extremely generous with their gifts to the kids, as they always are. We're very blessed in that regard and I would trade them for anything, I'm just proud and happy they are a part of my life.
Unfortunately there were two blips on the day that made it rough. I forgot to take my ulcer meds for three straight days and as a result the wonderfully tasting pot roast my wife made gave me no end of problems and I had to cut my eating short and let things resettle for a few hours. Then for the third year in a row my youngest sister brought her chaos into my life by calling (actually it was her husband) to ask us for gas money to get home. From my aunt's house. Meva and I toyed with the idea of not even exchanging presents this year because money is so tight, so she was barking up the wrong tree.
Last year this sister almost spent Christmas in jail and Meva and I bought and (for the most part cooked) a complete Christmas dinner for them (I think it was meant to feed about 12-14 people) by buying the turkey, a ham (I think), a bunch of sides, pies and cakes, and a bunch of cookies and fudge. If I'm not mistaken the year before that she didn't have money for Christmas gifts for her kids and was scrambling a few days before Christmas trying to borrow money to get presents.
Even though I know this will be read to my mother (which is fine), I don't think my family realizes how much this type of behavior effects me and gets me down. I love my sister and her kids, but she point blank doesn't live her life respectfully or responsibly and it makes me crazy, angry, and lugubrious. And that is only intensified when I think about her kids. In the end it causes me to be so depressed that I actually physically ache. Unless you suffer from depression, you can't understand exactly how this happens. It of course carried over into today, and if it weren't for my wonderful babies, I would have slept the entire day away.
Not too much else going on that I have much to say about. The always frustratingly fun Best/Worst of lists or the year are all over the place now. Overall I guess I like them, but sometimes it's kind of sad to see just what exactly we've let become important to us.
Again, TV sucks, especially daytime. Without cable, I am stuck with the basic local channels, so all I get are judge shows (they all suck and are redundant) and talk shows. Most of them are also filled with the dregs of humanity, so even the guests aren't interesting. I will share the sad state of my TV affairs to you all so that you can laugh with me (or at me) when I admit that watching Martha Stewart or Rachel Ray are the only shows I watch during the day--- that or the PBS kids shows!! (That Wendy on Bob the Builder is a babe in disguise!).
TV at this time of night (2amish) is equally as bad. Infomercials and Poker After Dark are what you get. I think I'd rather listen to Top 40 radio or Rosie O'Donnell. If it didn't make me so agitated I would just drop to the floor, instantly asleep.
Tomorrow I visit my bone specialist and hopefully I'll be coming home without a cast, but with a splint. Just being able to take it off to bath or let my hand and wrist breath would be wonderful and hopefully I can get back to work.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Can't Sleep, The Penguins Will Win!!
Since Thursday night my wife thinks I may have entered into a manic state due to the fact that I've slept about 8 hours over the last three days and I'm really not too tired or dragging my tail. Usually when I don't get enough sleep the migraines start flying at me at an incredible speed. Thankfully that hasn't happened yet, which is really weird.
I was adjusting my cast today when I heard and felt a nasty pop from the area in my wrist that they did the bone graft on for hand surgery. It hurt quite a bit afterwards and my hand has been more sore than normal as a result, especially in the area I has the pins sticking out of it. Everything just started acting up out of the blue. I hope this isn't a bad sign because I really want to get this cast off and move into a splint. We'll have to see how that goes.
Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and I'm really excited about spending it with the Triplets and giving them a hot chocolate bottle before we put them down with a telling of The Night Before Christmas. Meva and I have done this every year that we've been together and it's now part of our family tradition. Last year we drove home early so that we would be able to get the babies down (the were less than 6 months old then) and we sat on the floor of the nursery in the dark with a flashlight and softly read the story out loud without waking the kids. I know it's corny, but we'll never forget it.
I was adjusting my cast today when I heard and felt a nasty pop from the area in my wrist that they did the bone graft on for hand surgery. It hurt quite a bit afterwards and my hand has been more sore than normal as a result, especially in the area I has the pins sticking out of it. Everything just started acting up out of the blue. I hope this isn't a bad sign because I really want to get this cast off and move into a splint. We'll have to see how that goes.
Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and I'm really excited about spending it with the Triplets and giving them a hot chocolate bottle before we put them down with a telling of The Night Before Christmas. Meva and I have done this every year that we've been together and it's now part of our family tradition. Last year we drove home early so that we would be able to get the babies down (the were less than 6 months old then) and we sat on the floor of the nursery in the dark with a flashlight and softly read the story out loud without waking the kids. I know it's corny, but we'll never forget it.
Friday, December 21, 2007
Exterminated
Sometime around the end of October I got slammed with some nasty Malware on my computer through a comment someone posted on my MySpace profile. It was one of those nice ones that pretends it's Windows and tells you that it has detected spyware on your computer and you need to remove it to protect your computer. It is even nice enough to provide you a direct link to a site that sells a spyware removal program ranging anywhere from $25 to $99. The "company" that makes this program is the one that has infected your computer. I think the term that tech people use for this type of Malware is Smitfraud.
Anyways, I got one and I have spent the better part of the last two months with limited computer resources as I tried to isolate the bug and exterminate it. The final piece was a damaging file that hid itself within my firefox browser and took away all my links, distorted my display, and created a leak or something that forced me to manually shut the program off through my Windows Task Manager (pressing Ctrl+Alt+Delete). To say I was frustrated and annoyed would be an understatement.
But this morning I got a lead on where to look and after a lot of digging around, I found the file and deleted that sucker. Everything looks to be back in working order and I am a very happy man once again. I hope this means I'll be able to post and resume my normal computer activities.
It's late and I should already be in bed, but I just gad to share this bit of good news!
Anyways, I got one and I have spent the better part of the last two months with limited computer resources as I tried to isolate the bug and exterminate it. The final piece was a damaging file that hid itself within my firefox browser and took away all my links, distorted my display, and created a leak or something that forced me to manually shut the program off through my Windows Task Manager (pressing Ctrl+Alt+Delete). To say I was frustrated and annoyed would be an understatement.
But this morning I got a lead on where to look and after a lot of digging around, I found the file and deleted that sucker. Everything looks to be back in working order and I am a very happy man once again. I hope this means I'll be able to post and resume my normal computer activities.
It's late and I should already be in bed, but I just gad to share this bit of good news!
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
The Best Plans
I was entering into this Holiday season preparing to pull out all the stops with baking, decorating, and trying to spread joy and peace as far and as often as I could. Honestly, I started doing research and organizing lists of things I wanted to accomplished and everything that I would need to make it so. Of course we all know what happened in October, I had my left had reconstructed after several years of intense pain. With just a week to go, I've got to face the facts and give up. I did the best I could, but my plans were huge and I just couldn't get a break when I needed one. In the end:
The cool thing about this year is that I've had the chance to spend time with people that are steadily becoming very good and important friends to Meva and I, and we also were able to meet some fantastic people that are very interesting and fun to be around and who show the potential to become good friends also.
Did I mention I also got to eat some baked brie cheese with cranberry jelly? A law should be passed making that a mandatory part of all meals during this time of the year.
And did I mention my children? They won't get even half of it, but they're going to experience opening presents ) and potentially trying to eat the wrapping paper. But of all the things they won't get or can't yet appreciate, the three kids, Meva, and I will all sit down and read The Night Before Christmas on Christmas Eve, just as Meva and I have done for the last 7 years. In fact last year Meva and I sat on the floor of the nursery with flashlights at 3am and read it to our 3 sleeping newborns.
I speak only for myself, but that is the spirit of the holiday for me. This simple tradition has become the essence of Christmas for me as I slowly impart it to my children, in the hopes that they do the same with their children. At the risk of sounding morbid, when I die, this will be image I take with me into the beyond.
- There won't be a super special Christmas card like last year before Christmas for everyone.
- My plans for baking treats to share with everyone have been greatly reduced, possibly to two, maybe three things
- I didn't get the garage organized and as a result couldn't find all of our Christmas stuff that was packed away for the move that never happened.
- I am ashamed of my outdoor decorations. They are just sad.
- My special gift packages that I wanted to give to my loved ones didn't happen, and I really wanted to get those done and distributed.
- I have misplaced my Hardrock, Cocoa, and Joe DVD, and depending on how well you know me, you know this one hurts.
- The interior decorations didn't happen either, at least not to the extent I wanted them.
- My special gift for my wife didn't work out again.
- I haven't gotten pictures of the triplets yet in the snow, with or without snowmen.
- I have always wanted a Christmas train to go around my tree or something significant, and this was going to be the year it happened, but that too was derailed.
The cool thing about this year is that I've had the chance to spend time with people that are steadily becoming very good and important friends to Meva and I, and we also were able to meet some fantastic people that are very interesting and fun to be around and who show the potential to become good friends also.
Did I mention I also got to eat some baked brie cheese with cranberry jelly? A law should be passed making that a mandatory part of all meals during this time of the year.
And did I mention my children? They won't get even half of it, but they're going to experience opening presents ) and potentially trying to eat the wrapping paper. But of all the things they won't get or can't yet appreciate, the three kids, Meva, and I will all sit down and read The Night Before Christmas on Christmas Eve, just as Meva and I have done for the last 7 years. In fact last year Meva and I sat on the floor of the nursery with flashlights at 3am and read it to our 3 sleeping newborns.
I speak only for myself, but that is the spirit of the holiday for me. This simple tradition has become the essence of Christmas for me as I slowly impart it to my children, in the hopes that they do the same with their children. At the risk of sounding morbid, when I die, this will be image I take with me into the beyond.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Seeing New Things
It's now been six weeks with a cast on my hand and I have to admit that is has gotten steadily worse each week. The pain has been a constant (let anyone try a bone graft, two grindings, three fusions, inserting a permanent screw, and adding to pins) and to add to the fun the would has been infected much of the time. Trust me, it's more fun than it sounds!!! LOL
So anyways, I got the pins removed. One of them had sunk low and a good deal of skin grew over it. The doctor had to give me some shots so he could slice up the hand without me feeling it. Being the curious sort, I watched as he literally jammed the needle-nose pliers about 1/4 inch into my hand and pulled out the 2 inch pin. It was really cool to see and very gross.........plus there was blood everywhere. Once he took out those pins I felt extremely nauseous and light headed and needed to lay back down for a few minutes.. But the good news is I should be out of the cast, and probably in a splint, in two weeks time!
Everyone around the house is on the mend and starting to feel better and get back to normal routines, although I'm having trouble sleeping, but that's not really new. But being that it's now 4 am, I think I'm going to his the sack.
So anyways, I got the pins removed. One of them had sunk low and a good deal of skin grew over it. The doctor had to give me some shots so he could slice up the hand without me feeling it. Being the curious sort, I watched as he literally jammed the needle-nose pliers about 1/4 inch into my hand and pulled out the 2 inch pin. It was really cool to see and very gross.........plus there was blood everywhere. Once he took out those pins I felt extremely nauseous and light headed and needed to lay back down for a few minutes.. But the good news is I should be out of the cast, and probably in a splint, in two weeks time!
Everyone around the house is on the mend and starting to feel better and get back to normal routines, although I'm having trouble sleeping, but that's not really new. But being that it's now 4 am, I think I'm going to his the sack.
Saturday, December 08, 2007
Viruses All Around
Virus. It gas come to dominate my life of late. Everyone but Ryan is fighting a stomach virus here, lots of fevers, aches, and vomiting throughout the house with everyone else. That little Ryan is a badass, he just refuses to let stomach viruses get him down. I think I'm going to use him in a fashion similar to coal miners and birds in mine shafts. When Ryan goes do, I'll know that some new strain of the Mutaba or Shanti virus has come.
On top of all this, my computer has come under some nasty attacks of spyware and malware. I think I finally got the whole malware issue solved and fixed after about a month, but now I'm having trouble with Firefox. One of the add-ons I had with it screwed things up and my link toolbar has gone completely blank, my bookmarks are missing, and I have a large gray area at the bottom of the browser that's just doing nothing. I've tried the forum at Mozilla, but so far every suggestion has not worked. I'm getting to the point where I am considering reinstalling XP from scratch. I think I've just got too many problems and I might result to purchasing Norton System works.
My hand is apparently not doing well. The bones haven't fused as well as the doctor wants so I gave to get some bone stimulator to hook up to the hand so that it will assist bone in healing, but after 6 weeks in this cast, I'm still under a great deal of pain that most people would be screaming and crying about, But I don't have that luxury. To make matters worse I see, to have developed a nasty infection in the wound around one of the pins that are still sticking out of my hand. It must be pretty serious because the doctor wants me to travel to Indiana on Monday to get it checked out in case the infection is in the bone, which I'm told is serious. I am so ready for this to be done and over with.
The news has been over-filled with my favorite type of event; a mass murder shooting held in a mall. We got to hear everyone's story and see irrelevant photos that serve nothing but increased program ratings and the the go on and give the dead nutcase the spotlight that he wanted, which I once again predicted would serve as inspiration to the next asshole. Sure enough I hear there was another shooting instance in a different mall somewhere else today. Sometimes I think it's time to begin controlling the free run the media has on content and have the government step in and oversee some of what is reported on. They could be called the CRC, the content relevancy commission and have the power to impose fines and sanctions for violations that are against common sense and promote potentially dangerous threats to the citizens. Yeah, I know it takes away from some of out 1st amendment rights and it's a very conservative stance by me, but the irresponsibility of the media really frosts my ass.
Just thought I'd share!
On top of all this, my computer has come under some nasty attacks of spyware and malware. I think I finally got the whole malware issue solved and fixed after about a month, but now I'm having trouble with Firefox. One of the add-ons I had with it screwed things up and my link toolbar has gone completely blank, my bookmarks are missing, and I have a large gray area at the bottom of the browser that's just doing nothing. I've tried the forum at Mozilla, but so far every suggestion has not worked. I'm getting to the point where I am considering reinstalling XP from scratch. I think I've just got too many problems and I might result to purchasing Norton System works.
My hand is apparently not doing well. The bones haven't fused as well as the doctor wants so I gave to get some bone stimulator to hook up to the hand so that it will assist bone in healing, but after 6 weeks in this cast, I'm still under a great deal of pain that most people would be screaming and crying about, But I don't have that luxury. To make matters worse I see, to have developed a nasty infection in the wound around one of the pins that are still sticking out of my hand. It must be pretty serious because the doctor wants me to travel to Indiana on Monday to get it checked out in case the infection is in the bone, which I'm told is serious. I am so ready for this to be done and over with.
The news has been over-filled with my favorite type of event; a mass murder shooting held in a mall. We got to hear everyone's story and see irrelevant photos that serve nothing but increased program ratings and the the go on and give the dead nutcase the spotlight that he wanted, which I once again predicted would serve as inspiration to the next asshole. Sure enough I hear there was another shooting instance in a different mall somewhere else today. Sometimes I think it's time to begin controlling the free run the media has on content and have the government step in and oversee some of what is reported on. They could be called the CRC, the content relevancy commission and have the power to impose fines and sanctions for violations that are against common sense and promote potentially dangerous threats to the citizens. Yeah, I know it takes away from some of out 1st amendment rights and it's a very conservative stance by me, but the irresponsibility of the media really frosts my ass.
Just thought I'd share!
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Gravity Is Working
I found that out the hard way today. I fell off the roof of my house hanging Christmas lights and cleaning out the gutters. Having only one good hand I really had no good reason to be up there, but the lights needed hanging and the weather for the rest of the week didn't look promising, so I had to tackle this today. I lost my grip on things with my bad hand due to the cast slipping, and when I over compensated that was all it took to send me pitching over the top and straight onto my gravel driveway. I fell forward and landed on the back of my head. The only thing I hurt was my ego.
I was initially concerned about getting a concussion and worrying my wife, so I originally said I fell into the bushes, but I figure it does no good to handle this with a lie, so I came clean. It's been about 7 hours now and I've only got some sore, achey back muscles and a slight headache. That's pretty good for an old man.
Despite those follies, I spent the day working around the house until Perrin got sick and then it was all about holding him and making him feel better. I must not have done a good job of it because he threw up all over me and himself, so we both got a nice bath out of it and then he seemed to improve somewhat, but he was running a fever.
Well, it's late and I need to sleep. I just noticed my clock on our TV is about 3 hours off and I have been up way tooooo late.
I was initially concerned about getting a concussion and worrying my wife, so I originally said I fell into the bushes, but I figure it does no good to handle this with a lie, so I came clean. It's been about 7 hours now and I've only got some sore, achey back muscles and a slight headache. That's pretty good for an old man.
Despite those follies, I spent the day working around the house until Perrin got sick and then it was all about holding him and making him feel better. I must not have done a good job of it because he threw up all over me and himself, so we both got a nice bath out of it and then he seemed to improve somewhat, but he was running a fever.
Well, it's late and I need to sleep. I just noticed my clock on our TV is about 3 hours off and I have been up way tooooo late.
Monday, December 03, 2007
The Idiot
Yeah, that's what I feel like. Sunday was just one of those days where I just seemed to be in a fog and just kept making mistakes after mistakes.
I left the dome light on in the car, so the batter was dead and I had to jump it with the van. Once that was all done I shut my flashlight in the hood of the van and spent 15 minutes in the biting cold trying to get the damn hood of the van open without any luck, before I remembered that I needed to go back inside the van and pop the hood!! I was so frustrated with myself that I pulled out the rod that keeps the hood of out other vehicle up. I wasn't even paying attention and grabbed it the wrong way and the whole damn thing just came completely out of the frame.
The Bears let me down today, no surprise. The better be the offseason of the offensive line, both in the draft and in free agency, because what they have out there just isn't doing the job. And that doesn't even cover needing safteies and upgrading the wide receviers. There is a lot of work to be done.
I spent mot of the day avoiding the world and processing everything that happened yesterday with the meeting I had with my Dad. It really took a lot out of me and I was spent and exhausted the whole day. I felt listless and useless. Luckily I have the best wife in the world and she worked his behind off today all over the house. It's nice to know I have someone I can rely on. She's truly amazing.
I left the dome light on in the car, so the batter was dead and I had to jump it with the van. Once that was all done I shut my flashlight in the hood of the van and spent 15 minutes in the biting cold trying to get the damn hood of the van open without any luck, before I remembered that I needed to go back inside the van and pop the hood!! I was so frustrated with myself that I pulled out the rod that keeps the hood of out other vehicle up. I wasn't even paying attention and grabbed it the wrong way and the whole damn thing just came completely out of the frame.
The Bears let me down today, no surprise. The better be the offseason of the offensive line, both in the draft and in free agency, because what they have out there just isn't doing the job. And that doesn't even cover needing safteies and upgrading the wide receviers. There is a lot of work to be done.
I spent mot of the day avoiding the world and processing everything that happened yesterday with the meeting I had with my Dad. It really took a lot out of me and I was spent and exhausted the whole day. I felt listless and useless. Luckily I have the best wife in the world and she worked his behind off today all over the house. It's nice to know I have someone I can rely on. She's truly amazing.
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Processing
Although I've been silent around here for the last week, I've been doing everything else that I normally do, except updating this thing. The holidays have certainly claimed more of my time of late, but what's mostly kept me away is my counseling. It still goes well, but it's really hit the first serious crux on my road to getting through all the crap that bothers me.
There's still a part of me that hates the fact that I am in counseling and that I couldn't come through everything on my own. Maybe I'm just too infatuated with the old "tough guy" persona of Hollywood that I was spoon fed as a kid, but sometimes it makes me feel like less of a man. It's really a silly notion, but it's a part of the whole "process" I fight and this week it was more prevalent than usual.
Without going into much detail here, I met with my father today for the first time in almost 4 years. There are a lot of issues that I have with him from childhood to today and I need to find resolution and a way to let go of my anger. I showed up uninvited and unannounced, and I didn't know how things would go. I was prepared to walk away and cut all ties with the man. Instead I got to talking with him and I realized this would not be a one meeting process, it's going to take a few. There were many new issues that came up as a result of this meeting, and processing them will take some time. I expect this week to be a difficult mess, trying to get the house set for Christmas, just dealing with the babies, and working through what happened on Saturday.
I'm going to try and get a few hours sleep before that kids wake up so I have the energy to take hold of the day. If you don't hear from me for a few days, now you know what's going on.
There's still a part of me that hates the fact that I am in counseling and that I couldn't come through everything on my own. Maybe I'm just too infatuated with the old "tough guy" persona of Hollywood that I was spoon fed as a kid, but sometimes it makes me feel like less of a man. It's really a silly notion, but it's a part of the whole "process" I fight and this week it was more prevalent than usual.
Without going into much detail here, I met with my father today for the first time in almost 4 years. There are a lot of issues that I have with him from childhood to today and I need to find resolution and a way to let go of my anger. I showed up uninvited and unannounced, and I didn't know how things would go. I was prepared to walk away and cut all ties with the man. Instead I got to talking with him and I realized this would not be a one meeting process, it's going to take a few. There were many new issues that came up as a result of this meeting, and processing them will take some time. I expect this week to be a difficult mess, trying to get the house set for Christmas, just dealing with the babies, and working through what happened on Saturday.
I'm going to try and get a few hours sleep before that kids wake up so I have the energy to take hold of the day. If you don't hear from me for a few days, now you know what's going on.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Oh What A Weekend
I'm going to make this initial post short and to the point. We had a good visit at Meva's parent's despite the babies all getting colds and bronchitis. They were really well behaved and they mostly played with their grandparent's toys that they have just for them. Grandma Murial's white blood cell count was low, so she wouldn't get to hold them or even. As sad as it was, at least she got to see them
All around we enjoyed seeing our friends and family, and if the kids would have felt better they might have been less clingy to Meva and I and more willing to play and be held by others.
The trip home normally takes abut 7 hours, but at one point we were at a stand still for over an hour. It took an extra 5 hours, but we finally got home. Everyone is now a sleep and I need to join them. Details and any pictures will come tomorrow. G'night ya all
All around we enjoyed seeing our friends and family, and if the kids would have felt better they might have been less clingy to Meva and I and more willing to play and be held by others.
The trip home normally takes abut 7 hours, but at one point we were at a stand still for over an hour. It took an extra 5 hours, but we finally got home. Everyone is now a sleep and I need to join them. Details and any pictures will come tomorrow. G'night ya all
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Crash, Then Burn
Well, it was the power supply that caused the computer to crash. My friend Chris came over today to help me put the new one in as I always assume that I will do the most damage. So Chris came over and we got the new power supply in and as soon as we turned it on, there was a surge of some kind and my video card fried.
When I say the video card was fried, I mean this literally. Chris turned the computer on and I saw a bright light coming from the bottom of the video card and I said to Chris:
"Hey, that's fire."
"Yep, that sure is fire," Chris said.
"Yeah, that can't be good." I said as Chris quickly shut the thing down.
That sucks, but I got a new card that's a bit better and everything seems to be up and running now, so as long as that stays true, I have no complaints. It could have been much worse.
When I say the video card was fried, I mean this literally. Chris turned the computer on and I saw a bright light coming from the bottom of the video card and I said to Chris:
"Hey, that's fire."
"Yep, that sure is fire," Chris said.
"Yeah, that can't be good." I said as Chris quickly shut the thing down.
That sucks, but I got a new card that's a bit better and everything seems to be up and running now, so as long as that stays true, I have no complaints. It could have been much worse.
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