Confluence

I think I've been open about how difficult the past week has been. To make things more difficult has been the pain in my hand and wrist and the cumbersome cast I've been forced to wear. Both of those items have severally inhibited my ability to get much, if any, writing done in any form. I'm trying really hard, but the pain medicine impairs my ability to think clearly, maintain focus, or even stay awake. Quite honestly, I hate this state I'm in and it makes me want to cry because my writing has come almost to a stand still.

The situation with my mother has been life changing in many ways for me and I feel like many areas of my past, present, and future are coming together and they are starting to shape me into a new person. Without a doubt this will anger some people, enlighten some other people, and in a few cases hopefully bring others closer to me. But more importantly I'm hoping for some evolving on my part.

I'm really not a big one on revelations, so forgive me the melodrama as this should be the first time you'll be hearing this, but I've been going to therapy on a weekly basis; trying to deal with issues I've had since I was a kid, and as an adult, and as a way to learn how to control and avoid my anger (If you've ever seen me completely lose it, you'll know why I want this). I've needed this help and I believe I am already using it to my advantage.

I will continue to use this blog as an outlet for my feelings, fears, and hopes. In conjuncture with my therapy, I'm looking for some healthy outcomes. I know that after the weekend I had dealing with the events surrounding my mother's health scare have caused me a great deal of pain and stress and I need to process these feelings and events. I'm seeing all of this as a confluence that needs sorting out so that I can move to the next stage of my life. It's the stage that makes me into the best father, husband, and man of character that I am meant to be.