Clarifications & Intent (Or, Am I The Devil)

It was a little over a year ago that I started taking my writing seriously. Right around that time was when I decided to start this blog. For better or worse, Desultory Views has become a part of me and I enjoy sharing that part with everyone else. I thought that in the process, everyone understood what this was and why I did it. I was wrong, and I think I need to restate exactly what this blog is about and what you'll find here.

Yesterday I got a call from my mother. She was very upset with me about something I wrote in a previous post. She wasn't so much upset with my views in the post, but rather the fact that I shared them here on the Internet. She asked me to take them down, to which I said I wasn't going to do that. Here's why:

This blog is an outlet for me. It gives me the chance to express myself creatively and passionately on any topic I choose. By writing on here I am able to reflect and internalize my thoughts and feelings in a way that allows me to understand the world around me in a more comprehensive manner and to deal with any problems, obstacles, or stress that enters into my life. In simple terms, it's a healing and growing exercise for me.

As a result of this there are going to be times when my raw emotions and honest views come out for everyone to see. It could be extreme political and moral views, or personal dirty laundry from myself or even my family. If something involves me or effects me, I may write about it here. I also may not. There is no hard or fast rule as to what or how I choose something, each thing I write about is unique in it's own right and I am affected differently. My intention has never been to embarrass someone (other than good natured ribbing and scoundrelship amongst friends) so if I write about you and you're embarrassed about it, try not to do things that you'll regret or be embarrassed about later on.

As for the incident in question that happened yesterday, I thought about it more last night after I got off the phone with my mother and I stand by my decision not to remove or edit my previous post. To be clear on what happened, someone had read the post and either thought it was out of line, or thought my mother should know about it, and called her. This person not only told her about the post, but read it to her verbatim and on my mother's request has printed it out and sent it to my mother via the mail. That's right, my mother isn't even the one who discovered this! She didn't want to tell me who it was who told her, and that's fine really. I would like to know but it's not that important. I'm not even mad at that person, I'm actually trepiditiously excited that my writing was able to provoke a response of this nature. Granted, I'd rather it have been a more positive response, but what I wrote obviously touched someone else and that's really what all writers look for when someone reads their work.

Now, as far as this whole ordeal goes, I completely understand my mother's position and I respect her for talking to me about it, but I don't think this situation is of a sensitive enough nature to require me to censor my writing. As embarrassing as my mother finds the entire post out there for others to read, I am embarrassed by the actions and events that prompted me to mention it in the first place.

I guess the part that hurts the most is the lack of understanding from my family and that's what has prompted me to write such a post. I should have expected this from my mother; we've never been close and despite my attempts to share my views and passions in life with her I've never felt that she's really interested. This is obvious as recently as yesterday. During the entire conversation with my mother, there was never an attempt to consider my position or reasons, I was wrong from the onset. She never solicitated my reasons, I did this in defense of myself. The thing to note was that no matter how patient, or how polite I tried to be in explaining myself she kept cutting me off at every turn disrespecting me by ignoring what I had to say.

I know I didn't behave in the most respectful manner, at one point telling her to "Shut Up" and I'm not proud of that, but I at least listened and considered what she had to say. I guess my point in all of this is that even after 37 years my feelings are still not as important as hers. I'm not a fool, I know this is going to get back to her-- at the very least through the same channels as the last time. I'm still ok with this. I'm not trying to hurt her, but the way she acted and the way she continues to treat me hurts me and this is how I deal with it. I know I can't change her or even the way she interacts or thinks of me but at the very least I can channel my feelings into something productive.

Miami Bound

No, I'm not going to Miami. I wish I was, because my Chicago Bears are going to be there in two weeks for Super Bowl XLI!! I can't even convey how wonderful this is. Many people say that they don't deserve to even be there, and the prognosticators in Vegas already have them as 7 point underdogs and they may all be right, but I'm still stoked about this.

There is definitely a euphoria building around this event, with stories and coverage really being over board and dominating the local airwaves. It really is like a strange soap opera. We've got a convict, a civil rights milestone, a theme song, and some truly bizarre supporters. And yes somewhere in all of this they will manage to actually play a game. The photo to the left is the most bizarre story I have heard in support of a team in a long long time. Now don't get me wrong, I think that if I was in this woman's position I wouldn't be above this type of a tactic to get see my beloved Bears in the Superbowl. I actually think it takes some guts to even get on TV and talk about this. Chances are that some one or company will pony up the cash for this as it's too good of a PR opportunity to pass up. At the very least it will make for one hell of a story to tell the kid years later!

It's been an intense couple of days around the house as my son Perrin has had some real painful bowel movements of late and he's been cranky to say the least. Luckily we have a doctor's appointment tomorrow and I'm hoping that he'll be able to figure out how to end this for the little guy, he's been through enough already in his short life. As a result of Perrin's condition I've not had much free time this week. It's pretty much been doing chores around the house and comforting him. No writing at all.

On a nice note I ran into a friend while at the grocery store today. I hadn't seen here in probably 6 years or so, and we had some catching up to do. It was funny because she saw my cart had nursery water and she immediately asked about having kids. Having triplets though still allows me to get a surprise out of people. I was supposed to just go right to the store and get some water and then come back quickly, but seeing her made my 30 minute trip take 90 minutes instead. Lucky thing for me that Meva is such a great woman, because I know there are many wives out there that wouldn't be so understanding about a situation like this. The funny thing is that back when my friend and I worked together and were closer, I am surprised we never got together! Meva knows all of that and still she isn't threatened or worried, which just goes to show what a catch I have and reinforce the strength of our marriage and love. (OK, sappy stuff is over now)

I haven't had a chance to go over the President's State of the Union address yet, but I'm hoping to be able to do that tomorrow after I come home with the kids from the doctor. I'm sure I'll find it fascinating and entertaining.

Passing

I just found out today that Art Buchwald passed away today. I'm not going to pretend that I was a great and avid fan of his, but I did respect the volume of work that he completed in over 50 years of writing. He was well known for a sharp satirical wit. Just reading a small amount about him at Wikipedia tells you about the incredible, and at times wild, life he lead. He lied about his age to fight in WWII, interviewed Elvis Presley in Paris, won a Pulitzer Prize, and successfully sued Paramount over the rights to the script for the Eddie Murphy movie Coming to America. I think it's important that when men like him pass on that we reflect about exactly how amazing our lives can be.

In other amazing news today, a 9 yr old boy ran away from home. That doesn't sound too spectacular until you read about his trip. In the space of about two days, this kid stole a car and lead police on a high-speed chase, was released back into his mother's custody, and then proceeded to runaway the next day and hop on a flight from Seattle to Phoenix and then again from Phoenix to Dallas. He was finally stopped at Dallas trying to board another flight to San Antonio to see his grandfather. That's just insane. If you're wondering, he didn't buy any tickets, he just bluffed his way onto two Southwest Airlines flights. Pretty sad.

Home Is Where........?

The title really says it all. While I will always look kindly on this last year and a half for having brought me my three children, it's been a very rough stretch that I am not at all sorry to see go. Financially speaking, it's not been kind in any way. We really got hosed by the contractor who was supposed to put on our addition, then my wife was laid off for six weeks following the birth of the kids, and we then went down to one full-time income. To say the least, our finances are stretched.

The only real way we can salvage this situation is to sell our house. This will allow us to pay off our second mortgage and about 70-80% of our credit card debts. We are currently looking at houses in more rural areas that will actually increase of living space and cost much less per month on our mortgage. It sure sucks, but we at least have this option and flexibility available to us so that we can get back on solid ground.

In other areas I think I've finally wound down from the holidays and I'm ready to get back to a more consistent pattern of life. What this means for me is a return to working out, a chance to read casually, write more frequently, and begin the long process of culling out items I no longer use or want and in the process make some extra cash.

An interesting twist on the whole Barak Obama presidential campaign today. Instead of letting his intentions of forming an exploratory committee to examine a run for the Presidency, he released a video on YouTube. I don't know who his campaign people are, but that was very savvy. In that one move alone he's thrown down the gauntlet in my mind that he's going to be the "modern" candidate who can appeal to the younger voters as well as the established voting class. Without taking a stance, I find that type of gamemenship to be fascinating and fun to watch. It's like a great chess match and this was one hell of an opening move.

Ringing in the New Year....Bathroom Style!

The titles a bit misleading. I had a great New Year's and didn't even have to drink, so no hugging that porcelain alter for me. The title has to do with other bathroom activities.

My son Perrin brought back a stomach virus from his grandparents and he has passed it on to just about everyone here in the house. My son Ryan is the last hold out. Without getting too graphic, for awhile I thought I had something akin to dysentery. I had cramps, a fever, and some serious bouts of fatigue; all of which lead to me becoming dehydrated and getting headaches and some uncomfortable muscle cramps. Meva even took off time from work when it hit her. I can only imagine what the babies have gone through because they also have projectile vomit with their symptoms. Yeah, the Kennedy house has been a real fun place to be over this last week for sure!

Beyond that, so many things have been happening lately I don't think I can accurately talk about them here in any real detail. That aside, I still can't believe that when the time came to put the hammer down on Saddam, it came down fast and relatively peaceful.....at least as far as I heard......I only heard there were protests in India of all places, but whatever.

The playoffs are here in football. For some reason I am totally not pysched at all. Maybe it's because my Bears look like the weakest 13-3 team I can ever remember seeing, or maybe it's just that I can't find the time to get into it now that my hands are full. For sure, I'll still watch it, but it's just not exciting me like it used to.

As you can tell I haven't gotten around to changing the layout of this blog yet. I've been trying to just keep up with some semi-frequent postings when I get the chance, but now that the holidays are passed I'm hoping to have more time to do this.